“You don’t get what you deserve in life…you get what you negotiate.”
Many gurus of negotiation often make this powerful opening statement and, while there are merits to what they say, why not try this statement on for size: “You don’t get what you deserve in life, you get no more or no less than what you believe you deserve, at the time you negotiate…”
Negotiating is a way of life and lack of self-worth is one of the main reasons we continually fall short of our expectations in life. A strong sense of self-worth is one of the main reasons why we prosper in life. If you feel worthy and deserving you have a tendency to open yourself to receive the abundancy and opportunities available to you in life. (The world is my oyster). If you feel unworthy or undeserving you have a tendency to take less than your share in life. (Beggars cannot be choosers).
Your perceived self-worth will influence whether you choose the high road or choose the low road in life. Your sense of self-worth tends to influence whether you choose to learn easy lessons or difficult ones. Do you dance through life or struggle through life, choose good role models or poor role models, develop good life-building habits or choose self-sabotaging habits? Do you get into healthy, productive relationships or end up in destructive, energy draining ones? Are you materially, emotionally and spiritually wealthy, or poor?
As we treat ourselves with more respect, other people tend to do the same. They can subconsciously ascertain how we perceive ourselves through our facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, dialogue other subtle cues and behaviours. “We teach others how to treat us,” the saying goes. Our perceived self-worth is a big part of that teaching.
People are often upset and disappointed with the money or exchange they receive for their services. This often happens because they are not clear in their own mind what their services are worth. They hope that other people will see their value and give them what they deserve. When you know what your time, energy, knowledge and services are worth and you believe it, others will tend to honour and value what you are offering as well.
It is important to understand that money represents an exchange of energy between you and the outside world. It represents the energy going out from you and the energy coming back in. Your energy is a major factor in determining whether or not money flows freely and harmoniously to you. If you do not value your time, energy and ability you cut off your flow of energy and, in turn, cut off abundancy.
If you constantly cut your fees and prices and accept less than what your services are worth, you cut off your flow of energy and money in two ways. First, the resentment or bad feelings, even if it is only slight, will stop money coming back to you because resentment and bad feelings push money and energy away. Secondly, you are giving the signal to your subconscious that your services or work is not worth very much. The subconscious begins to believe it and gives off signals that it is so, and the inflow of energy (opportunities and money) declines. It becomes a downward spiral.
When you honour your value and worth, energy and money move toward you. Because of this, a perceived high self-worth or a perceived fair value for your services and products must be understood and believed before entering into negotiation with other parties. Otherwise, the odds are you will come away from the negotiation with less than what you really deserve. You literally set yourself up for failure.
Remember, you are already worthy. Your worth already exists as a fact of life. You just need to discover it. In actuality, the present state of your relationships, work, finances, education and life style is a good indication of your perceived worth.
When negotiating it is important to always “negotiate from strength”. Before going into a negotiation be sure to enter the negotiations believing you deserve the right outcome. That is negotiating from strength. If you are negotiating for a percentage of a company in order to build your perceived value, make a list of why your experience, your money, your contacts and your knowledge are worth what you are asking. Daydream about it, add more points, leave it alone, come back again, add more reasons and do this until you are really sold on your own views, on yourself or your situation.
As an entrepreneur, you can use the same approach whenever you are raising capital or borrowing money. I’ve done it many times in my Entrepreneurial life. Virtually every time I managed to borrow or raise the amount of money I needed. Why? It was because of the inherent belief in myself and the business, to the point that others bought into my belief during the negotiation. Remember, focusing on all the things you did wrong in life, why you do not deserve the best, what is wrong about right now and how things never work out for you, drains your energy.
If you focus on what is right about you and your life situation right now, it gives you the energy to overcome the past, present and future challenges and hurdles that you must correct now, or face in the future. Positive energy equals abundancy.
Your self-worthiness makes a big difference in negotiating the outcome you want. Invest time, energy, brainpower and money, honouring your value and worth.
“When you honour your value and worth,
energy and money move toward you”
“Your perceived self-worth will influence
whether you choose the high road or choose
the low road in life”
“When you know what your time,
energy, knowledge and services are
worth and you believe it, others will
tend to honour and value what you
are offering as well”
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Bill Gibson is a Canadian who is living in South Africa. He is an international speaker and author and a developer of sales, service, marketing, collecting, employee morale building, personal development and entrepreneurial training programs and systems. His blog is www.bill-gibson.com and his website is www.kbitraining.com. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or phone +27-11-784-1720 in South Africa. You can follow Bill Gibson on Twitter: @billgibson1, connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gibsonbill or Knowledge Brokers International SA Pty Ltd Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/knowledgebrokers?ref=hl